My Son Thinks He's Tarzan

Interviewing...

2009-06-14T19:03:00.002-05:00

After the talk that I had with my Mom today was yet another reminder that her family sucks, and when I say her family I mean the people I grew up with. My Mom, Dad, Sabina, Casey, Cody, and Lily. I am always trying with my mom, it seems to be a waste of time. I new when I was in Mexico that the reason I never saw any of them is because of the choice I made to live so far away. I have been in Oregon since August. I have seen my mom twice, once when she drove up here and stayed with me three nights and made it clear that she wouldn't be back, and another time when the kids and I drove to see her for two nights. My dad has made it really clear is has NO interest in me or my kids. Why he hates me is beyond me, but I can't keep putting myself out there for him to hurt me! Sabina I haven't seen in 6 yrs. Casey well I saw him once outside of the Langlois Market in Langlois for about 10 minutes and met his kids that are 6 and 4 for the first time. Cody I see more of, and am able to talk on the phone, and my kids know who he is. Lily and I have a guess the most normal sibling relationship with and I wish she was closer so I could see more of her. My kids now her and love her so much! She is the ONLY one that calls on my birthday or will call the kids on there birthdays! Did I mention that My Mom, Dad, Casey, and Cody all live in the same town.

Cody is getting married in Sept. He is having Casey, Lily, and I be the groomsmen. I am so happy that he wants to let me share in this occasion with him. On the other hand that anxiety about all of it has kicked in. I want to do whatever Cody and Amber need from me so there wedding day can be about them, and celebrating what they have going on. What I see happening is that my mom won't be able to deal with the stress of anything and will be the whipping post for that. My dad acting like he is some kind of victim with the way our relationship is, when he is the one that has made it clear that if I don't except Pat that he won't have anything to do with me and my kids. Pat was his choice not mine. Casey is just going to be mean to me. Not allot to look forward to.

So everything is starting to wear on me and it is making me a little sick. I am a single mom of two kids and I am trying so hard to give them everything they need. I don't have support from anyone. I wouldn't change the way the boys and I live. I just wish they had more then just me. Tarzan is out of school for the summer and he would like to spend time with my mom, but the question is will she ever find time for him. Awhile ago he asked me if my Dad was dead, I never talk about him so I guess it was a good question. We don't get Christmas cards, Birthday cards, or phone calls from him, he doesn't want anything to do with me so I guess he doesn't want anything to do with my kids. I just had to explain that he was alive and we just don't see him. What more can I say.

I wish that I could interview Grandparents for my kids and the would come with an assortment of Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. These feelings come in waves and I hope that since I have put a little bit out there that I will feel a little better! I know this will be hard when the holidays roll around, and it will always make me a little sad. I guess I am just feeling lonely, and I wish someone had time for my kids.

online

2009-04-18T08:15:00.001-05:00

it has been a while since i have logged in... i am back online so i will be getting to this soon....

Soooo

2008-11-25T20:59:00.001-06:00

Well TML was here, and I couldn't believe it. Well we love each other again. I can't believe it. I guess that is better then the way it was, and both of us being committed to working on it. The kids are happy, I am happy, and TML is happy. YIPEE

Moving

2008-10-16T16:00:00.003-05:00

Moving is really easy if you don't have anything. I have RSG's car loaded for the last of the two car loads of stuff to take over to the new place, but The Fat Baby fell asleep, so I will wait. Maybe I will sleep with him.

My Own Place

2008-10-10T19:34:00.002-05:00

I shouldn't say my own, I will share it with my kids. I am so happy with how fast things are coming together. I had a job within the first weeks of arriving in the states, and now I will have a rental.

It is a really nice rental, you know without cockroaches or red ants, and with a washer and dryer. I don't know what to say I am beside myself happy at this moment. So by the grace of god, or the grace of all of the people I know. I need everything except a washer or dryer to go in the place.

I am going to need a coffee pot!! So I guess I am excepting handouts or old furniture that anybody wants to give to me. I need everything.

Happy Mommy

2008-10-08T23:29:00.002-05:00

Today I had parent teacher conferences... Tarzan's first couple of weeks weren't so smooth, email's and phone calls from the teacher that basically consisted of her telling me that he wasn't ready to be in school. This was such a shock to me, he has never been less then the favorite in any activity that he has participated in.

Within a couple of weeks from the first week of school, the emails starting slowing down. No news is good news, right? I was unsure because in my reply to two of the different emails that I received from the teacher was a little harsh, I just had the overall feeling that she didn't want to deal with the different language issues. That he was going to be a little more work, he is high energy, he is a little boy.

Tarzan's teacher told me that everything has turned around, that he is doing a wonderful. So I doubted the sincerity.

Today at the conference she reassured me that he is doing a wonderful job, that he is a bright little boy, very affectionate, that he is friends with everybody, not just in his classroom but in all of the kindergarten classrooms. This is my boy. These are the things that I am use to hearing about him. She did say that the first couple of weeks were pretty rough, but now he is doing a very good job. All of this made me very proud of my little guy. I know how amazing he is, and I want the people that are around him to know how amazing he is also.

He is adjusting well to all of the new things happening in our lives.

Clarifacation

2008-10-03T03:40:00.003-05:00

As angry as I am about every shitty thing that TML has done to me. I am so resentful of him because of the choices he made after the birth of the fat baby. I also know that I have made bad choices, and that I am not perfect.

I am not sure about what I want, but I know that I have these two beautiful small children that adore him very much. And I hope that for them TML can pull threw. I know that if he were to show up here today that I would be happy for a moment, but I also know that we would have to get help, that we would both have to learn how to work threw all of the problems of the past. That it would take so much from both of us.

I have moments were I miss him, and I can't just stop loving him.

It is so easy for everyone to say that I have made the right choice in leaving him and yada yada... I just walked away from a relationship, and the father of my children. I think what gets lost is that I have two kids, I am starting over with two kids. Thankfully I have somewhere to stay, but what I need is a place for the boys and I. I need furniture, I need everything that goes with starting over.

It is so hard to go on a job interview and be like I really want this job, this is exactly what I am looking for, and all of the things you say when trying to get a job. Then be like I am only available 8 am to 2 pm, sorry I have kids and yes I need a job, but my kids have to come first. Oh, and I am all alone with them, so yes if anything happens to them, then I am the only one that they have to be responsible for them.

Rose's where I am working, I made a point not to mention that I have kids, and said that I was flexible. So this is how that panned out. I have only worked night shifts, and 8 hrs on Sunday. Not really ideal for a single mother, that doesn't have childcare, nights or on the weekends. I am hoping with time, that I can start getting more of the hours that I need.

I hope my job, can work into the shift I need eventually....

Letting More Out

2008-09-29T23:50:00.002-05:00

At this very moment I feel like shit, it happens the moment I slow down. The moment, I have time to deal with my reality. My life right now, is temporary. Everyday I save money, or make the effort not to spend .01 cent. So I can move out, so I don't have to be stressed out about my kids making these nice people crazy. I don't know if more alone time for me is going to be any good for me.

Today I hate TML, but really hate him. I don't know if that is part of the healing process or what, but the reality of him is that he never has loved me, he never wanted to. He put out so little to try to make me happy, were I felt like I was doing nothing but trying to make him happy and it didn't work.

It is a million little things that hurt me.. and they are all lame. He never took a picture of me, the only picture that I have of myself are pictures that other people have taken, or when I would ask him to take a picture of me and him, the kids and I. I never felt complimented, just compared.

My sons birthday is hard for me.. Birthdays are always time for reflection. The birth was perfect I couldn't have asked for anything more. It is the choices the people that I shared that experience with acted. It was just horrible. It was a horrible experience and so much of what I loved about TML died with his choices. The fat baby is 2 yrs old.. so I think that I tried hard enough to find the love I felt for TML. I know what was so hard with even trying to move forward and let things go is TML still thinks I deserved everything that has happened.

Yesterday was the fat baby's birthday, and by all means I don't have the money to do anything fantastic for him. I just didn't want to deal with it or think about it. His arrival in to this world isn't what it should have been, it should have been a celebration... it sure as fuck shouldn't have been about TML being in the hospital because of his poor choices. According to TML I deserved to be at home with my baby that was just a couple of days old, and Tarzan 3 yrs old. Without anything.

I just remembering having to take Tarzan to pre-school just so he would have something to do, so he wouldn't be stuck in our tiny tiny house all day. The car not having AC and it being so hot that every time I got in the car to take him to Ixtapa having a near panic attack because I thought he was going to sweat to death in the heat. Then doing it again in the afternoon when it was even hotter.

I will continue to get through the things life gives me, and at this moment things are going to get harder before things get easier.

I feel strongly that I have made a good choice in coming back to the states, right now I just need to keep being positive about the possibilities of the future, and continue working on taking the steps to insure that.

So I ride a bike!

2008-09-28T23:25:00.003-05:00

I am starting everything new.. so that means I left my car in Mexico. It is a long drive and with 2 kids I figured it was time just to let it go.

So the very nice people that have taken me and my kids in have also lent me a bike, but not just any kind of bike. It has a turbo pack. I shit you not. So if I want to go up a hill with ease, just be lazy, I can hit this button and it will just take off.

I work about a mile from where I live so I use this fancy bike to get me back and forth to work, it is great, free, and is much faster then walking. Oh, and it has a turbo pack. I don't think you could ask for more in a bike.

Last weekend I wanted to stop at this bar that is about 3 city blocks from the house, so this weekend I grew that balls to do it. I got off early then expected so the kids were already with a babysitter, so yes, I was on the bike with the turbo pack and decided to stop and have a beer. I ended up drinking 3 beers, and then I had to ride the damn bike home.

I know 3 beers what the fuck! I don't ever drink so I was pretty much done for, but I managed to peddle this fancy bike home with out any trouble.

Then in the morning I found out everyone else went lessie dancing, well that sound way funnier then drinking 3 beers in a shitty dive bar then have to ride the bike with the turbo pack home.

More Reflection

2008-09-27T10:43:00.003-05:00

TML and the wagon, and the reason he is on it. I guess is was about a year ago when the incident took place... There was about 2 months or so that he would drink and when he came home grew more aggressive and I expressed this to him. That he was starting to scare me that, that he really need to slow down for all of the million reasons a person needs to get a hold of there drinking. What it all boils down is that he was really starting to scare me. I let his family know, and they just disregard everything that I tell them as me being crazy.

So the incident.. TML came home, just fucked up at 5am. I am sure that I was awake, he starts with his shit and I am sure saying ugly things to me, what they were that I night I don't remember. Then he wake up the kids, then I was irate and just wanting him to either go to sleep or go away. So I send his Mom and Dad a text and told them to either come and get TML or I was going to call the police. So they came and got him and the time in between me sending them and text and the 10 min. it takes for them to get to my house, he punched me in face. I was holding the Fat Baby, and Tarzan was standing with me.

So the weekend passed and no word from TML and not one person from his family called or stopped by to see if the kids or I needed anything. Nor did they ever ask if any of us were ok.

Monday morning and Pablo has taken yet another weekend, more time away from our family to I don't know nurse his never ending hangover. This was it for me... what options did I have, it has gone from verbal abuse, to physical abuse.

So I have to go to work, and I have to take the Fat Baby with me because TML has made it clear that he doesn't like to spend 3 hrs a day helping with TFB. In those 3 hrs, he would go and eat with his family, and his mom would take care of TFB you know so TML could eat and relax some more, get waited on by the maid. Then TFB would take his nap, and so would TML. While TFB was taking a nap, so would TML. He would sleep not contribute anything to helping with anything. He was providing such a luxuries lifestyle god for bid he help with anything.

So I am pretty much a huge push over, and within days TML is back at our lovely apartment and not drinking. So he is mad at me, mad at the kids, and overall just angry. I didn't want him at the house, I wanted him to go to rehab, so he could get help with his emotions and dealing with his with drawls and everything that goes along with recovery. His bullshit, I have kids and a house to take care of, I don't need someone complaining and being mad about everything.

TML started going to the gym and that was fine to help him work out some of the aggression, except the hours he would go, that he couldn't change. TML has nothing to do during the day, except maybe buy beer for the bar, but he had a worker there, and it takes 5 minutes to pay for it.

So I would come home from work, unwind for 2 min. Go get Tarzan, then meeting the demands of my kids, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, buying everything I need for food for the day with the kids under 10 dollars. TML would be at the gym. He would come home around 5 eat dinner, scream at everyone, complain about dinner, be mad because Tarzan doesn't like anything or wasn't hungry, be mad because TFB cries to much. Overall pretty unenjoyable to be around. We did this for about a month, then his brother invited him to Cuba.. I told him to go, I need a break from him. It was a week, that was OK. It was so much easier not to have him around. Not one person was mad at me. So I gave him the money I had saved and told him to have a good time and make sure to bring back something for the kids. He brought Tarzan a baseball, and The Fat Baby moracas, wow.

The week he was gone, he gave me the bar, and that would have been fine if Fabioli would have turned in any of the money that she made. So when TML got back he blamed me, for there not being any money. Not my fault.

The deal with TML and I was that he got to go to Cuba for 7 nights and when he got back I got to go to Vegas for 3 nights. Well he went to Cuba, and I didn't get to go to Vegas. I haven't done anything for myself or had anytime to myself since I had Tarzan, and he is 5 yrs. old.

I am here in the states getting everything together, and things seem to be coming together pretty well.

I need to continue letting things go, even when it isn't easy. I need to keep working on myself.

I am always looking for a job, and I am not finding what I need. I get all weird nervous during the interviews, and I ramble.

Therapy

2008-09-23T01:20:00.002-05:00

Therapy is probably what I need... I guess I have issues with men, because of my dad, my brother, and past relationships. Who the fuck knows!

What happens when you fall in love with someones potential... Nothing, because there potential is just what they could achieve. Not what is going on. It is to bad. It is like that saying you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink. TML is a smart polite guy, and that seems to be it. He doesn't want to make plans for the future, he is unmotivated. He is content with just getting by.

When the kids and I left Zihua this is how TML spend his day. He would wake up around 11 shower and go eat breakfast with his family. 12 go and work with his brother or hangout in the office with his family, or hangout with his brother. I am not sure to understand what was going on there would involve communication. At 3 go to the gym.. for about 2 hrs. Around 5 come home and eat with the kids and I. Then take another shower after he laid around for awhile by himself, because the kids and I would have to go to karate practice most days of the week. Then take another shower and go to the bar from 7 until whenever. Not a lot of time for the kids and I.

I miss TML more then anything in the world... and I guess I am just trying to remind myself of why I left. His choices since we have been gone, show reassure myself that I probably made the right choice.

Not Knowing

2008-09-21T23:45:00.003-05:00

Is it weak to continue stay in a relationship that hasn't been working out for a longtime? Or is it holding on to hope? Is holding on to what could be bad? Probably.

I wouldn't describe myself as someone week, maybe at times a pushover, weak not a word I would use to describe myself. I am not sure what I am holding on to anymore, the cultural differences are GIGANTISIMO!!! He is unavailable emotionally. His is blind to anything that concerns his family and they are extremely overbearing. His family is another blog post.

So here I am in the states, with my wonderful kids, and today was a hard day, but most sundays are. When I am in Zihua the kids wake up early, and because TML has been at work until the early hours of the morning I try to let him sleep so I leave. I take the kids to Ixtapa to get coffee, well coffee for me and hot chocolate for the kids. Then I just try to waste time there walking around looking in the windows and yada yada.

The apartment is so small in Zihua I can't take the kids to another part of the house.. There is know space to breath. This is a reminder for me .. when I am having a hard time, when it would be nice to have a little support I have to remind myself even if I had stayed in zihua, it wouldn't be much different then what is going on here, or maybe even less support.

Let me describe the apartment.. There isn't a washer or dryer. The is a concrete wash board encase I feel like an upper body workout I could go crazy and wash my clothes by hand, or everybody's because I do the laundry for a family of four.

There isn't a sofa, there would be a blow up air mattress. You know if by chance someone wants to stop by I can invite them to lay down on the bed with me. There use to be a sofa, you know when you rent a furnished apartment you get someones old furniture. So the sofa was so gross I finally had to threaten to put it out on the street, instead the landlord came and picked it up to have it repaired, on Mexican time. So in over 4 months I never saw the sofa again. Just the blow up air mattress, that took up the entire living room.

The apartment does have cockroaches, and red ants. It doesn't have a bathtub, just a shower. With small children to give them a shower you have to get in the shower with them or you just end up all wet with your clothes on.

The apartment also is lacking a bed for the fat baby. So I let him sleep with me, and if I let one sleep with me then I have to let the other sleep with me too. So I lived in a tiny tiny shitty apartment with cockroaches and red ants, and nothing else. Sometimes we could go days without water or gas, so there isn't a place to wash your dishes, but that doesn't really matter because if there isn't gas to cook your food.. then there is know need to wash dishes. On a lighter note if there isn't any water you can't flush the fucking toilet either or take a shower. que rico!

So I ask myself again if I made the right choice in coming back to the states... I guess it would have only been a bad choice if I would have went to Texas.

Here there isn't someone mad at me everyday for god only knows.

When I am having a hard time, I have to remind myself that I made the choice to be in the states. If the kids are stressing me out, it is what would be going on in zihua or worst At least here only the kids are stressing me out and not ther person I need to support from.

I miss TML, he doesn't seem to miss me. I don't know what is going with our relationship. I don't know what to say if someone ask me if I am paired up with someone.

I am here with my kids, and I am not going back to zihua. I know that for sure.

I miss TML, but I don't miss how we lived there. I don't miss the luxury life style we had. I miss TML and everyday seems to be a little more lonely. I will be OK!

Rose's Deli in Sherwood

2008-09-20T23:56:00.002-05:00

That is where I be working. Well everyone seems to be nice, and that is all I have to say about it.

The fat baby turns 2 yrs. old next week.

I miss the mexican lover, but I don't miss Zihua. I am actively looking for some kind of telecommuting job. Something with flexible home based hours. Anything that I can be doing during the day.

The economy really stresses me out, I am happy to be in the states and I feel like being back here is where I need to be. I also need to be making enough money to support my family of 3. I know if I budget and plan really well I can do that with slinging hash. I really hope TML chooses to be part with his family, but I don't know how long I should hold on to that idea.

I need a creative outlet, I found a small art studio that has classes that I would really like to take. I just need to wait until all of my chickens are in a row. I am being positive.

Tarzan is doing really well at school, the first week was pretty rough, but I was very pleased on Friday when Tarzan's teacher email me the following:

I have to tell you how well Tarzan is doing. Really...I am soooooo pleased by his complete turn-around. I adore him to pieces. He is also starting to use small amounts of English, too. YEAH!

So that made me feel good.

Tarzan cracks me up, when I ask him how school is he doesn't say much, but he always tells me the truth. He either says "yo se porto muy bien" or "yo se porto muy mal"

I love my kids, and I feel very fortunate to have them.

Processing it all

2008-09-19T00:04:00.002-05:00

I know that I don't want to be in Mexico.. that trip has ran its course, over and over again, and I am more then over it. I miss TML and that is it, there is absolutely know desire to be there.

So I am here, this is where I want to be. I am doing the things that I want to do and I have already started achieving some of the goals that I have set up for myself in a rather short period of time. I am back to serving, not so in to that, but I am good at it and it generates money, and that is what I need to achieve any of my other goals. Money, I know that it can't buy you happiness or love, but life seems easier when you have it, or should I say with out the stress of not having it.

In the last couple of days, I have been really contemplating my life. I know the things that make me happy. I need to figure out how the things that make me happy can help make me money. I know that any job or career that I take on I would be very good at it and be able to make it work for me.

I guess I love being around people, talking to interesting people hearing there stories and things about there lives and just knowing the things that people have done to bring them to this point in there lives. I love my kids and doing things with them, I want to be available for them. I like to know about different cultures, and understanding how they live there lifes, the food they eat, there slang, standards of life. I like knowing.

I wish I new a way to make money doing something that involved all or some of these things... 2 days back into being a server I know that I don't want to be doing that forever.

I wish there was an easy solution. I know to do the things I want to do I have to have money, so I have to work to make money.

One of my many goals that I have set up is to get a third language established for my family and I. For the kids it is easy, immersion, done deal. For me it is a little more involved, because I would have to do things like study and take classes and yada yada. But I am game.

I like living as and expat, I am not afraid to live outside of the box. I think that it is possible to do that even with the kids, as long as I keep them close to me and provide them with a world of love. They will turn out to be beautiful people.

I guess what I want to be able to do is live somewhere outside of the USA and become part of the community and learn to live like whomever, and understand there way of living.

The way people talk to each other is so interesting to me, what can be enduring some where can be so offensive to other people.

I guess what I need to be doing right now is stay focused on the plans that I have for this moment, and that means first getting a place for the kids and I. I need to stay focused on my daily goals, and organize my long term goals so I can continue to take the steps I need to, to achieve those goals.

I get so dreamy, it is easy for me to get side tracked.

My Blog

2008-09-12T17:30:00.004-05:00

Do you think it might be time to update it a bit? I have another child that is 2 yrs. old in a couple of weeks, and I don't have any photos of him on my blog. I know longer live in Zihua. Tarzan is 5 yrs. old and more like Karate Kid instead of Tarzan. I have the whole last year to blog about. I need to get started.

So now that we live in the scary suburbs and Tarzan in attending public school we are getting started with fund-raiser season. I am ok with that because the money goes to education and I am all for that!

So this is what it is about!

Tired

2008-09-10T21:31:00.002-05:00

I am so tired and it is only 7 in the PM. I don't know why I am so tired I had a huge coffee this morning, a coke and a hot dog this afternoon, and because I am so tired I went ahead and had a frappucino, and I am still seriously dragging ass. So that leaves me wondering why? I haven't had sex in 2 weeks, and I have an IUD, I have an old fashion mexican IUD. Whatever I am nuts. I have to much time on my hands. What I need is a job. I someone out there wants to give me a job send me an email, I need a job, and I want to work. I have a good work history, excellent references, willing to learn, everything good that and employer would need in an employee!!!

Relocation

2008-09-04T23:18:00.000-05:00

That is what's going on... Stressful YES. I feel like I am taking a huge step backwards, I am depend it upon everyone I know right now, for everything. I am highly motivated and so ready to go back to work and start generating money so I will NOT be depended upon anyone. I know that I can do it, and once things start rolling, they will keep rolling and I will be taking many huge steps forward. It is getting started. I am starting all over with 2 kids, so I need to get the ball rolling.

This First Day

2008-09-03T09:55:00.002-05:00

My little guy had his first day of school and I think it was harder on my then it was him. I was the youngest mom out of all of the moms there and that made me feel very out of place on top of my dealing with my readjustment in to society. I know it will continue to get better and easier for all of us. One day at a time.

Tarzan said everything went well and that he did a good job, then he cried and said his teacher got mad at him and threw his sandwich away. So tomorrow is another day and he will be riding the bus, so I am wishing him all of the luck in the world.

INTERNET

2008-08-31T00:25:00.002-05:00

The Internet is such a mind suck!! I am here in Oregon, staying focused getting shit done and soon will be pounding the pavement for a job. I look forward to the future. I am going to back to using my blog and will be writing more thoughtful entries. Staying focused!

Shocker..

2008-08-30T16:56:00.001-05:00

I am experiencing culture shock!!

old photo..

2008-08-25T12:57:00.000-05:00

i found the photo of pablo and i in a friends face book

YEs

2008-08-19T14:21:00.002-05:00

My computer is fixed and I am so excited that I could jump out of my pants... there will be more blogging in my future.

Weird Shit

2008-08-15T11:55:00.002-05:00

Things that happen in Zihua... So the electric company went threw El Centro and took down all of the electric wires and have put them underground.. that is fine it caused a little madness, but it is all over. Less wires on the telephone poles. Well the POLES are owned by the Electric Company and since all of there wires are not occupying the poles any longer, the Electric Company has decided to go ahead and take them down with disregard to any other wires that might have been attatched to the poles.. like telephone wires, cable wires and anything else. So where the poles use to be there are just huge balls of wires floating magically in the air.

Bored

2008-08-07T10:57:00.002-05:00

The count down in on.... I am so happy to be returning to the Portland area in just a matter of weeks. All I am doing everyday is studying to get my real estates license.. and that isnt that exciting, well it is interesting, but lacking action. It doesnt matter soon I will be back in Oregon, and the reality of what is going in is upon me and it is make me a little emotional, well allot emotional. That means I am really sensitive and cry allot for really know reason at all. Oh well.. Overall I feel really positive about what I am doing and I have so much to look forward to for the Boys and I.

My Computor

2008-07-09T11:52:00.002-05:00

That is the problem, my computor needs a new hard drive. I am in the middle of a huge transition in my life... so getting a new hard drive is on the back burner... i will be back to blogging when I can.

Bored

2008-04-25T17:08:00.002-05:00

I have been abandoned in the suburbs with my kids.... I am out of money. I have a little silver jewelry to sale. I have nothing to do, ugh. I am beside myself. I guess even if I did have something to do I don't have any money, so I wouldn't be able to do it anyways. I guess I could try to sale the rest of the silver jewelry that would provide me with something to do and the hopes of having some money. I think that I have exhausted my sources, so that just leaves me with selling it to strangers, UGH, UGH!!! If anyone out there is reading this, send me an email if you want to buy any silver jewelry.

Options

2008-04-21T15:25:00.003-05:00

Here I am in the suburbs... not knowing what to do.

If I could pick I would stay here knowing that TML would be here in a couple of days and that me, the kids and him would be all together.

That isn't what is going on....

So I am confused and responsible for 2 beautiful young children.

As of this moment my plan is to head back to Zihua with my kids, study to get my real estate broker stuff and to be back here in the suburbs by the first day of kindergarten for Tarzan

Money is an issue when it comes to everything.. to fly here and there and everywhere isn't an option.

Or the kids and I could just be here in the suburbs and I could go get a serving job and get some money saved and just stay here, and be here, but there is TML.

So life.

Sorry

2008-04-18T19:26:00.002-05:00

over the last year i have be come a very lazy blogger and for no other reason then i can't seem to get me shit together. in the last year there have been a million different things to blog about. i enjoy blogging and want to be blogging... so at this moment i am back in sherwood oregon for little more then a week. I am hoping to get my thoughts organized and return to being a regular blogger.

I have them

2008-02-28T20:12:00.001-06:00

my papers, and more papers and papers up the woohoo. so i am going to try to get back to smith river a few days before easter, but who the f+++ knows about the flights. wish me luck, and wish my kids luck on the airplane.

Hope

2008-02-20T20:06:00.001-06:00

I hope the kids and I are stateside by easter!! Easter isnt celebrated here so it will be Tarzans first time and he will love it!!

i could explode

2008-02-01T14:46:00.000-06:00

but i wont... the passports and other important papers have been located!!!! gracias a dios!! next weekend we go to acapulco to watch tarzan kick karote ass, then mi amiga stella will be here. After all of that action the kids and i are heading north to oregon. i miss the rain, and i look forward to easter. that isnt celebrated here so it will be the first time for my kids. cant wait to see everyone!

Life

2008-01-25T20:10:00.000-06:00

I guess when you are making plans for change and everything seems to be coming together almost to smoothly... I suppose that is when life happens. In my efforts to be a responsible parent and doing things like getting all of my mexican born child U.S. documents in order, my passport, his passport, and his birth abroad paper have been lost, stolen or misplaced, god only knows. For me to start replacing all of these papers, well it is really expensive, and very time consuming. So in my efforts to make changes, I have been for the moment knocked on my ass. I am just taking it one step at a time, becuase i cant do it any diffrently.

If there is some motherfucker out there trying to use these papers to do things like destroy my credit or smuggle pale babies across the border... i have filed the forms to make the passports know longer valid. suerte!!

relocation

2008-01-18T10:36:00.000-06:00

that is what is suppose to be going on.... i should be in LA in about a month. my computor is broken so i am waiting to see the doctor at the internet cafe next to his office, i dont know how effective that is going to be, but i dont have my kids with me and i havent checked my email and yada yada for ever! peace and love!

HURT

2007-11-11T14:38:00.000-06:00

The diffrence between being hurt and mad. I think we are rarely mad at the people we care about, chances we are that we our hurt by there choices. I spend very little time in the states, and this last year I was hurt by a handful of people that couldn't make time for the kids and I.... for mostly selfish reason.

Trailer Trash

2007-11-11T14:32:00.000-06:00

I am going to load up the kids and move back to the states, live in a RV in a trailer park and try out being straight up trailer trash, just for a little bit. how does that sound for starting all over. See you all know later then febuary.

my kids

2007-10-03T20:43:00.000-05:00

Commitment

2007-10-02T09:32:00.000-05:00

The idea of commitment is kind of strange. I think as a person in general you can make all sorts of commitments, it is like New Years resolution, and sure you can sit down and make a whole list of resolutions. Things that you are committing to for a whole year and when you don’t follow threw on them there isn’t anyone there to say, hey what about your commitment. Maybe no one even knows if you haven’t followed threw.

There are other larger commitments like going to college… most people that you are around are going to know if you have graduated or what not.

So when you make a commitment to another person, what if your commitment is stronger then the person you are committed to. What if the person you have chosen to be with has decided that you’re not really that important to them anymore.

So my problem is that I don’t want to live in Zihua anymore, I can’t progress here. I am bored out of my mind and there really isn’t anything here for me, and there hasn’t been for a really longtime, when the partying stops there really isn’t much more to do here.

So about a month or so ago I told TML we need to have a talk about the future and what are our plans as a family going to be. I told him that I wanted to get my real estates license and move back to Portland. His response to me was “ OK give me until February” great that was so much easier then I could have ever imagined.

Since this conversation he has gone back and forth on everything that he has said…

So this leaves me questioning his commitment to this family, and me and at this moment I don’t feel there is any. I know that I am far from perfect, and I know me not being happy causes allot of unnecessary petty arguments. I also know that I am very much still in love with him. The idea of being without him, hurts allot.

I also need to take in to consideration that I have 2 very small children and I’m the only person look out for their best interest.

I feel like I am have been really patient with his issues, and some times I just feel I am done, but I don’t really have any idea what is the right answer.

Wants..

2007-09-30T12:07:00.000-05:00

My life here in Zihua isn’t bad, I work about 15 hrs a week, TML works about 30. So between the two of us we have a full time job. Tarzan goes to a little bit of school and Benny is always with one of the 2 of us.

My problem is that I am bored and there are things that I want and want to do. So if I make the decision to relocate this family and go back to the states, then I am going to have to work, not 15 hrs but more like 50 hrs a week. Is that going to make me a bad mom if I take a couple of years or more and work really hard to save money to do things that might seem selfish or out of the norm.

Since there is still a certain amount of want in me, and I think more then enough drive in me to be successful at whatever I choose to do. I am setting up goals and making plans to relocate back to the states to work, work, work, and save. Because I still have wants and I don’t want a bunch of regrets. So instead of taking the backseat to my dreams I am going to take the initiative to obtain the things that I want.

I like to work and I am a good worker and I am ready to be doing it full bore. I have had allot more time with my kids then most people get and since Tarzan was born I haven’t done anything but make sacrifices to be his mom. Benny is only a year old so he will get the runt of my wanting to go back to work.

I am unsure exactly what TML plans for the future are, one day he is coming with us and then next day he isn’t. He hasn’t taken any of the steps to do the things he will need to do come along with the kids and I. So we will see. I hope he chooses to come with us.

The first step in the things I am going to do is get me real estates license for Oregon… one step at a time….

otra dia

2007-09-12T09:41:00.000-05:00

i wrote a blog entry and the baby pushed some button.... so now it is gone!

Time

2007-09-01T18:45:00.000-05:00

That is what I wish I had, but since my kids won't even let me take a shit alone, I have know time for myself. I have a million things I would like to blog about, but that would take time away from my kids and TML who literally climb and sleep on top of me. So when I have a little time to breath I will return to blogging.

Sister

2007-08-01T21:02:00.001-05:00

My sister will be here Monday... I can't believe it. In the million years that I have been here I have only had one other visiter here just to see me. That would be my youngest brother Cody. He is the hairy man in the photo. The pretty lady is my sister Lily. I am so excited.

uneventful

2007-07-19T19:14:00.000-05:00

so i suck for blogging at this point in my life. because my life is uneventful... well except for the other day when the street that i live on turned into a small river, and i unknowling tried to drive on it. it was so scary mostly because i had both of my kids with me and my car started to fill up with water, and i couldn't get the car door opened because there was to much water pressure from the outside and when i finally did get the kids and i out of the car i was a mess and we were waist deep in shitty street rain water. it was horrible!

Journals

2007-07-08T17:46:00.000-05:00

Like most girls I have a gazzilion journals stuffed in one of my closets, well TML found them when he was packing up our stuff while I was in the states. So I will be reviewing those, and I think about my life as a 15 yr. old. Funny stuff!!

USA 07... more photos later

2007-06-28T21:39:00.000-05:00

Expo

2007-06-08T19:37:00.000-05:00

I have about a million pieces of silver to sale, so tomorrow I am setting up a table at the Expo in Smith River California....

So anyone that would like to stop and visit me that would be great. I don't think the kids and I will be back next year and I want to see as many people as I can. Not having a vehicle makes visiting people mission impossible.

So wish me luck tomorrow, and I hope to see the people I know in the area!

Times Up

2007-06-08T10:00:00.000-05:00

So my time here in Smith River California is coming to an end... I just have the weekend left. Then the boys and I will go to Portland for a week or so and then back to my normal life in Zihua. I don't think my mom gets that this is the last time I will be coming to visit or she just doesn't care. I enjoy seeing my brother and sister and that is about it. So it is official I am over it!

Every year when I come to the states there are always a bunch of things that I have to take care of, this year was the same. I am just ready to get back to the ole man.

The plan

2007-06-05T09:32:00.000-05:00

I have been in the states almost two weeks, and I only plan on being here another two weeks. I would love to see as many people as I can, but that means if you want to see me that you have to find a way to get ahold of me! I will be in brookings until monday, and then headed back to portland for another week. I don't have anyones info! I will not be attending the class reunion. One last thing I brought back a bunch of silver from Mexico to sale ..... jewelry! spread the word.

THE STATES

2007-05-31T18:47:00.000-05:00

LAX is the most fucking ridiculous thing ever. Mostly when you are traveling with children and they make you take your infant out of the stoller so they can x-ray this very dangerous object, and at this same time I have to take my shoes off, my 3 yrs old shoes, and thank god the baby isn't wearing any shoes. Then they start asking what is in the sippy cups... "water" that would be what I keep in my kids sippy cup. FUCKING BULLSHIT... THAT IS WHAT LAX IS.

Pregnant

2007-05-21T15:12:00.000-05:00

I jog... well I was jogging and then my period started, then I got sick so I was taking it easy. Then Tarzan told me there was another baby in my belly, so I started jogging again. I dont diet, and I am breastfeeding so I am just trying to cut back on the junk food. UGH!!!

TML works until god nows when in the morning. The kids and I are asleep when he arrives home, but for whatever reason the last two nights or should I say mornings he has brought me tacos, and I get up and eat all of them, then go back to sleep. WTF

By the time Tarzan was 7 months old I was 128 lbs. Benny is on the verge of being 8 months old and I am 25 lbs away from my pre prego weight. WTF

Clothes

2007-05-18T13:55:00.000-05:00

In my efforts to regain my pre-pregnancy body I refuse to buy bigger clothes, so as of right now I'm not doing allot of shopping. I also refuse to wear clothes that are to big for me. So as I sit at my computor the only thing that I am wearing that fits is my nursing bra, and my underwear. The tank top I am wearing is to short because my boobs are so big, and my skirt, well honestly it is just to small. So I am so worked up about going to the states I think I have given myself the shits... I guess in hopes that my clothes will fit a little better.

Headed North

2007-05-17T21:48:00.000-05:00

The kids and I are headed to Oregon..... It is HOT here and we are ready to go. Know one has met my latest kid, and he is super cute and super smiley and Tarzan, well he is a force. I LOVE them so much!!

We will first be in Portland for about a week, then we will be with my mom and who knows how long that will last, then we will go back to portland and then back to TML.

TML promised he will do the trip with us next year. The first few days without him I feel like I could die, and I am so stressed out about customs in LAX. So the first day is the hardest, but we will be OK.

The Season

2007-05-03T13:34:00.000-05:00

I am glad to see the high season coming to an end. My thoughts on this last season, a LOT of lonely middle aged women, and Alaskens are worse then Texans! I have been in Zihua for years and at then end of each season I have made new friends had really good conversations with a ton of really awesome interesting people. Not this year, met one really nice guy...... and the rest of the people I have met this year glad to see them go, and I hope they aren't back next season.

The phrase that I heard way to much of this year, "What happens in Zihua, stays in Zihua."

What the fuck is that?!?!?!?

If you are doing shit that you wouldn't want people back home to know about, then don't fucking do it.

I know for myself, and for my life. If there is something that I am embarrassed of or feel the need to keep a secret from people, then I probably shouldn't be doing it.

People

2007-05-03T13:07:00.000-05:00

It is hot where I live. Even when it is cold it is hot. So I am tired of looking at fat chicks in half shirts, and hairy men in tank tops or even worse topless. There are stores that specialize in clothes for the heavier population and in these stores they sale clothing to keep you looking presentable. I don’t have a problem with people being comfortable, just if you aren’t a super model, a half shirt or a bikini probably isn’t something that you should be wearing. Would you walk around town in your bra?

Also the other day I saw a large hairy man walking around with out a shirt on… he didn’t appear to be drunk, so I don’t know what he was thinking. The latest rant!

Oranges

2007-04-12T21:06:00.000-05:00

Yesterday TML said that he was going to go the market to get stuff for a salad. He comes home with stuff for a salad, fruit, 10 kilos of oranges, and an orange squeezer to make fresh squeezed orange juice. If you’re not familiar with kilos, 10 kilos is roughly 22 lbs. That is allot of fucking oranges

Whatever I can squeeze oranges, the oranges here are for squeezing. They are super juicy so it is super easy, and super delicious.

A few hours later, TML ask me “Cory, what did I buy you for your birthday?”

I responded politely “nothing we were in Oaxaca, and now I have that fucking orange squeezer.”

As a little bit more time goes by he says, “Really I didn’t buy you anything? Well I took you to stay in that really fancy hotel. “

He did take us to stay in a really fancy hotel, but only because his mom paid for it and then he was afraid to sleep with the lights or the TV off.

Not that I want him to go and get me a birthday present, I don’t care we had a nice vacation, but I could think of a million things that I would rather have then that fucking orange squeezer, and 10 kilos of oranges.

I keep thinking that I now I need to squeeze all of the oranges before they go bad. There isn’t room in my fridge for 10 kilos of oranges. So guess what I am doing tomorrow! Hahaha.

My Kids

2007-03-29T20:23:00.000-06:00

BullFight

2007-03-27T14:14:00.000-06:00

I went to a bullfight, say what you want. It was a really intense experience. I don’t know if I will go to another one, one was probably enough. If you ever have an opportunity to go to see a bull fight, just do it.

Heat

2007-03-20T13:35:00.001-06:00

Spring has arrived and so has the heat. In the last couple of days you can defiantly feel the change in the weather. My seasonal allergies are in full effect, I don’t have a voice, and I am having other issues. I am struggling with the idea of going on home for the summer. I love Brookings in the summer; I love the rivers and all of the wilderness. It is also important to me that my kids get to spend some time with my family. What I don’t love is fighting with my mom. I love my mom and I understand that she has been threw a lot in the last 5 years. If I go home I am going to want to work a little, like 3 or 4 serving shifts a week. Mostly because I like to work, I miss working. I miss having the power that goes along with having my own money. I know that if I went back to Brookings there are a handful of jobs that I could just return to, Brookings has seasonal work, and since I don’t want to be a fisherman I will be there during the right season.

I don’t know what the fuck I am going to do; I would like to go to Brookings and dick around a little. Try to make it to the river most everyday, takes the boys camping. Maybe my sister-in-law will get over whatever her issues are and my kids and her kids can hangout. Tarzan and my nephew are only a couple of months apart.

What I am worried about is my mom and being away from TML, and having the boys away from him for very long, So I guess if I can go to Brookings long enough to work then I want to go, but if I can’t go and work then I am just going to deal with the summer in Zihua.

2007-03-19T19:23:00.000-06:00

Just because he looks so fucking silly!! ajajjajajaj

Pity Party

2007-03-16T14:40:00.000-06:00

TML and I have been given an investment opportunity to improve our lives greatly, for very little money. The investment will start paying for itself within days of owning it. Even if that wasn’t the case TML makes enough money to make a payment every month.

The dilemma is taking a loan in Mexico is very expensive; the interest rate is around 30%. So it is time to call on my family to only be disappointed yet again. I can’t take out a loan because I haven’t worked in years, and when I had Tarzan my credit when to hell. My mom always says she wants to help but I don’t think she does, there is always an excuse for why she can’t. If one of my siblings needs something she always seems to find away. I think I am hurt more so than anything. So now I need to find some sort of investor or something and I have know idea the first step in going about doing that. Nor do I feel comfortable asking people to help me borrow money. So I don’t really know what to do, but TML and I can’t let this opportunity pass us by. So that is my pity party.

Pimptastic

2007-03-14T12:59:00.000-06:00

Beny spend the last few days rocking more bling bling then any infant ever should. First it was the very simple silver bracelet, then the Don gave him a 14 k gold bracelet. I think all babies are all crazy with there hands, and then the scratches all over his face starting showing up. One of the scratches kind of looks like a burn, and TML asked me if I burnt the baby when I was smoking. Since I have never been a smoker I found this very amusing. Even if I was a smoker I don't think I would be smoking with my baby. So the bling bling had to come off after Beny got it caught in his forehead and there was a lot of blood. Poor baby.

Oaxaca

2007-03-10T18:08:00.000-06:00

The word Oaxaca sounds like you are going to spit a loogy. I am not computer savvy enough to be all fancy and have whatever place I could be talking about just linked to from my blog, so if you are really curious you are just going to have to google the shit all on your own.

2.22.07
TML, the kids and I all loaded into the car around 7 am and headed for Puebla for what we thought was going to be around a 6 hour drive, but it was dark when we got to the hotel, so I guess it took allot longer then that. If you ever have an opportunity to go to Puebla do it, it is fucking beautiful. It seems like something interesting should have happened that day, but I can’t remember anything more then Beny shit his pajamas before we left and we stopped at McDonalds for Tarzan to burn off some energy at the play area and the play area was closed because some jackass was cleaning it, so Tarzan just got to stare at the enormous play structure in awe. Poor kid. We stayed at a nice old hotel downtown Puebla that I found in my faithful lonely planet guide that I have been caring around for about 5 years. The information isn’t that current, but still good information. So we stayed at Hotel Imperial we got all lost because the streets on the north side of the main road where all even numbers and the streets on the south side where all odd numbers…. Who the fuck organized the streets, I don’t know but I thought the fucking map was drunk. All I really wanted to do was go to the Mall, but we got all butt fucking lost and that put the kabosh on the mall. Man I really wanted to go the mall. So we all shit showered and shaved and headed to the Zocalo and walked around and took photos and ate at a really shitty restaurant called Restaurant Princesa, I don’t recommend this restaurant and the service was so bad we didn’t even leave 1 peso, not one.

Once upon a time I was a waitress, so good that I was fired because the other waitresses hated me because they head to step it up, well really just one waitress her name is Kelly at The McKenzie Pub in Sherwood Or, I hate her. It has been a million years and I still hate her.

Back to Puebla so it is really beautiful, and it is a really big city, and we stayed right downtown, and I bought a pair for really tight pants. I bought the really tight pants because I still have some weight to loose because I just had a baby.

TML ate some Tostadas de Patas. If you don’t know what that is let me tell you, pickled pigs feet on a tostada shell with beans, lettuce, other stuff, and pigs feet.

Then we went back to the hotel for sleep, and we slept with one of the lights on because come to find out TML is afraid of ghosts. I didn’t learn this until later in the trip.

2.23.07
It was so cold I woke up in the middle of the night and put on more clothes, I would have turned on the heater but there wasn’t one. It was cold every night every were we stayed and not one heater. So when everyone got up I but my really tight pants on and we all went back downtown and I drank some really delicious coffee. Tarzan got some new sneakers that are just a tiny tiny bit to big so he fell down allot. Then we loaded up and drove to Oaxaca. The drive to Oaxaca was interesting. Not too much to look at. There are some really cool bridges allot of fucking cactuses. Every small town that we drove threw had at least one motel on the main road. There really isn’t anything besides nothing to look at most of the drive from Puebla to Oaxaca City, but in the middle of the nothing there are toy trucks for sale on the side of the highway and it goes for at least a mile. I the middle of fucking know where there are small, large toy trucks in array of colors for sale. So if you are cruising along the roads out in the middle of Butt Fuck Egypt and you have the urge to go shopping for toy trucks, this is an option. When we finally arrived to our destination a really small town called Zimatlan. We found some of TML family hung out with them for a while, well we ate their food, and that was good. Also in Oaxaca the tortillas are extra big, like at big as TML’s face. So pretty fucking big. I don’t like them. This small town that we were in had so many speed bumps that there was a sign at the first speed bumps that read ZONA DE REDUCTORES. I don’t think you need to understand any Spanish to understand what that means. Here is Zihua, speed bumps are called topes, and in Oaxaca they are called reductores. So the old man and I were tired so we went to the hotel, and that was the end of that. I think we would have rather went to a motel, but we have all of these kids. Sometimes they are cramping our style.

2.24.07
So today we are going to a baptismal for TML’s cousin’s daughter, talk about a party, and it started at 10 am. First they feed you breakfast; witch involved my first fear factor food of the vacation. The breakfast was chocolate milk served in a bowl with bread, then deep-fried cow (all of the parts of the cow), some super fucking delicious cheese, big tortillas, and animal blood. I don’t know how the blood is prepared, but it looks like big balls of chocolate, and if you don’t know to ask what everything you are going to eat is you would think it might be a little treat after eating the deep fried cow. Then off to the church, the church is in a town that is so small that it doesn’t have any paved roads. Church and Tarzan aren’t really a good mix, it being a catholic church there are a million lit candles so Tarzan thought it was his job to blow all of them out. So during the ceremony the kids and I walked around this town without any paved roads, and it was scary. Then back to the party, I don’t remember what we ate next but everyone started drinking. There was a donkey made out of a log that had about a hundred ceramic shot glasses tied around his neck. The shot glasses are intended for the guest and you wear it like a necklace and if it appears empty someone appears to fill it up with Mezcal (Mexican moonshine). Then they give all of the guest a small gift, then a basket of candy for everyone, and more beer, and more Mezcal. There was a live band that played for 6 hours. There was also a bottle of tequila for every table. Tarzan was so cracked out on candy…… then it was time for more food a nice soup with stomach in it, served with the big tortillas. After a day of beer, mescal, tequila, and weird fucking food, it was time to go pass the fuck out. One final note, TML decided to tell me that on the drive to Oxacaca was the first time he had ever driven on the highway. That explained all of the near death driving experiences and him white knuckling the steering wheel.

2.25.07
So it is my birthday, the big 28. I feel 19, and sometimes I look at my kids and think what the fuck am I doing, I am know were old enough to have all of them. But I am 28 so I guess I really am old enough to have them. Even if I am not, I still have them and I LOVE THEM.

So I told TML what I wanted to do for the day, and we are off. First we go back to his family’s house and we eat soup, but not any kind of soup. This soup is made out of sheep guts and it smells like a barn. I tried not to pay to much attention to it because I probably would have barfed it I would have. There was obviously things like the large intestine, liver, and god knows what else. There were big chunks of stuff and you would think you would have to chew them and they would slide right down, and then you would have to chew up some of the other chunks of stuff. I ate it, but I drank 2 beers before I finished the soup. Then we left, and we went to Monte Alban. This really fucking interesting ruins in Oaxaca City, we spend hours there looking at shit. There is a nice museum and bookstore. We went back to his family’s house and ate the most fucking delicious shit ever, it was balls of pork with red mole. I don’t remember what it was called but, but super yummy. Then after awhile we went to the hotel and then went downtown Oaxaca, also very beautiful, much more alive then Puebla. We walked around for a bit, and yeah time for bed.

2.26.07
In the morning loaded up the car and headed to Hierve La Agua it was way up this huge mountain with only a one-lane dirt road. I read in my faithful, but very old lonely planet guide that you take a bath in this water, actually that you would take a very unusual bath. I am not going to explain much about this place if your interested you are going to have to look it up. Well worth the drive, and it was a good family bath. Also it is being redone so probably about a year from now it will even better and I believe you will have the option to rent a place to sleep for the night, week, or whatever you might tickle your fancy. Then off to the Fabrica de Mezcal. If you were ever to think about how gasoline might taste, I think it would be similar to Mezcal. This Mezcal factory was a really old one so they still use a donkey to squish the plant down, and then you sample the Mezcal, yummy. Then you buy it so for 300 pesos we walked away with 4 liters of Mezcal in old 2 liter soda bottles.

Then we went to Mitla ruins, and you have to pay. TML and I thought this was super lame, but it all paid off in the end. These ruins have two different tombs that you can go inside. One of them was really small, and then other one was bigger and super stinky.

That night we stayed in Oaxaca City it is really alive at night and quite a few choices as far as dining,. We stayed at Hotel Gala, it was really nice and right downtown and the price was good.

2.27.07
Woke up early went to the market to eat and none of the prices are posted so you have to ask how much shit cost before you order it or they will over charge you, this happened to us in Mitla. TML bought some super Mexican sandals, and then we were back on the road again. The toy trucks were still there, we didn’t buy one, but we sure talked about it a lot. We ate at VIPS in Puebla and there was a play structure and Tarzan went ape shit, he went so crazy that he puked on the table.

That night we stayed at Hotel Hacienda Cocoyoc. So fucking nice, so fucking nice we could have taken our whole vacation there and never left the hotel. Very delicious Mojitos I drank so many I got drunk and passed out. TML thought that was really funny. Before I went and passed out I went to turn off the bathroom light and TML asked my why and since I was drunk I didn’t think anything about it and I just turned the bathroom light back on.

2.28.07
Back to Zihua, back to our lives. Since the vacation everything around here has been a million times better, and everything is on the up and up.

If traveling in Mexico buy car always take the toll roads, and eat at the small places on the sides of the roads. The food is always an adventure, the price is good, and the people are always super nice.

I also learned some curious facts about TML he is afraid to sleep in hotel rooms without at least one light on, and he just learned how to drive on the highway. I would like to take him to Brookings one day, just so he understands why I am the way I am. Where I am from and my family. Now I am thinking he might be scared of all of the nature and the weird people.

Chavo

2007-03-08T21:39:00.000-06:00

This is what happens when he dresses himself. It is also around 86 degrees.

TML y Mi Hijo

2007-03-03T20:22:00.000-06:00

Yes, that really is a MULLET!

My Birthday

2007-02-28T19:56:00.000-06:00

Sunday was my birthday.... and it was the best one so far because I was here!!!! I will write more later.......

Cute

2007-02-17T20:21:00.000-06:00

Everyone is call him Michelin, like the tires! He is big fat and super white!

Taxes

2007-02-17T20:10:00.000-06:00

I need someone to tell me what forms I need to file for my taxes..... I didn't work all year, so I don't have any W2. I am still an Oregon resident. Ugh!

Business

2007-02-14T12:56:00.000-06:00

I want to start an alternative energy business with the main focus being solar energy. Zihuatanejo has sunshine almost everyday of the year; on the rare days that it does rain there are still a few hours of sunlight those days.

There is a huge North American population here that would understand the idea behind alternative energy. Electricity is so expensive everything is run off of propane. I have a friend that is afraid to use her oven because she feels like it is going to explode when she goes to light it, your washer and drying machines are also ran off of propane. Every major appliance is run off of propane.

I don’t have access to a library or a bookstore, so I am seeking out as much information as I can find online. That can be frustrating at times because you don’t know how factual some of the information you find is. Importing laws are as frustrating.

FELIZ DIA DEL AMOR

RED ANTS

2007-02-09T12:01:00.000-06:00

Do you want to know what I hate? Fucking red ants, they are all over my kitchen all of the time, if I put anything in the sink for more the 15 minutes without washing it, there are red ants in the sink, all over the counter, and up the fucking wall. When I am washing the dishes if I press my big fat belly on the counter they come out of god knows where and start attacking me. The other day about 5 min before I took out the garbage I sprayed raid all over it, then when I attempted to take out the garbage the fucking red ants freaked out and started climbing up my arm, then I felt at that very moment that I had no other choice but to spray raid all over my hand and arm. FYI raid doesn’t just wash off, you smell like raid for about a day if for whatever reason have to spray it on yourself. So for everyone living where it is butt fucking cold, you can be thankful because of that cold you probably don’t have a million weird bugs trying to live with you and probably crawling in your mouth when you are sleeping.

I don’t want anyone to think that I am a dirty scumbag, my house is clean, I am clean, the kids are clean, and TML appears to also be clean. There is just bugs here, and it doesn’t seem to matter how hard I try to kill them off they just keep coming back.

Are my hormones going to continue to be out of whack the entire time I’m breastfeeding? Because I feel like all of the million of little things I have had to deal with lately are making me crazy.

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

2007-01-28T10:22:00.000-06:00

Christmas is weird here, and there are so many holidays, and that is another blog all together. I don’t like Christmas here, I would rather be in the states or at least some were cold, or some where, were it wasn’t about getting all fucked up. Don’t get me wrong I like getting all fucked up every once in a while, but I have young kids, so it is just different.

Since I had Tarzan we have only been at my moms for one of his four Christmases and up until this year I haven’t really even gotten him any presents. I also asked my mom instead of giving me money if she would buy Tarzan presents if I could find someone to bring it down.

So my friend Joe that lives here in Zihua went to San Diego for Christmas to be with his family. So I asked hi if I give you a piece of luggage could my mom mail Tarzans Christmas presents to your place in San Diego and you bring them back. I was like it shouldn’t be a big deal the package will arrive then you put it in the suitcase and just bring it back.

I told my mom what piece of luggage I had send with Joe and I thought she understood that everything had to fit into that suitcase to get it back to us.

So the package makes it to San Diego and I get an email from Joe explaining that my mom has mailed the largest package he has ever seen and a wagon is in it. It is the chigon of Radio Flyers; the motherfucker has seat belts and cup holders. For Tarzans chelas or something I don’t know.

So I call my mom and ask her how big is the package? Her response was “It is fucking huge, there is know way it is going to fit in a suitcase!” Then I need to know how much it weighs and I have to ask her to send Joe 50 bucks because for sure he is going to have to pay to get this monstrosity on the plane.

Joe didn’t fly in and out of Zihua because during the holidays it is like 800 dollars round trip and you can go to Uruapan which is just a couple of hours away by bus and it would cost around 300 dollars.

So packages keep showing up at Joe’s house the entire time he is in the states and this has now become the largest pain in his ass, so TML offered to pay for his travels back from Uruapan.

So this Radio Flyer…. My mom paid for it, she paid to ship it to San Diego, then she send Joe 50 dollars to get it on the plane. Then I paid Joe another 800 pesos to get it from Uruapan to Zihua. Still allot cheaper then DHL

Now Tarzan is the owner of the coolest toy the kids in Zihua have ever seen and I am the envy of every mother in Zihua. So Thank You JOE!!

WORK

2007-01-23T11:43:00.000-06:00

So Beny is on the verge of being 4 months old and Tarzan in almost 3 1/2 years old. Because of where I live there isn’t very much to do with the kids as in parks, play groups, or a general type area of where the little tikes meet up to play. There really isn’t any suburb type areas were there are kids outside to play with. So I send Tarzan to school a little bit each day. He likes to go to school, so I feel like I am not sending him there too much. He likes to go and play with the other kids, and he likes to come home, I think I have it balanced out really well.

With the arrival of the new baby I have stopped teaching. I went back to work for 2 weeks with the baby in tow, and it just didn’t work out. I am spending a lot more time at home, and I enjoy it for the most part. It is hard sometimes, but mostly when I feel lonely. I am trying to figure out ways to stay busier when Beny is taking a nap and Tarzan is at school. I don’t sleep well at night I am awake at least 2 hours in the middle of the night for really know reason at all.

What I would like to start doing is working from my home a little each day it doesn’t really matter what I would be doing as long as it isn’t slinging crack or making it in my kitchen. The only thing that would matter is that I am able to work when Beny is sleeping or in the middle of night, when I am awake and no one else is. So if it be data entry, online surveys, or any job that you can do from home, as long as I get paid I would be happy to do it. I digress I have very young children so something kind of respectable. Are there entry-level telecommuting jobs?

My Boys!

2007-01-21T09:24:00.000-06:00

Radiator

2007-01-16T12:13:00.001-06:00

I have needed a new radiator for my loyal 1997 Acura Integra for quite a few months. So every morning before I take Tarzan to school I pop the hood and fill that motherfucker full of water. There has been more then one occasion when the car has overheated and I have had to call someone for a ride.

So the other day the kids and I had a play date and there was one of those small battery powered Barbie jeeps there and Tarzan was cruising around and the battery started to die and then eventually it was over, a dead jeep. So Tarzan being the kid he is gets out of the jeep and looks under the hood. The jeep was lacking an engine so he just looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face, closed the hood and found his bike.

Portlanders, by the way of Oregon

2007-01-08T11:25:00.000-06:00

I am pondering the idea of returning to the states, many things play into this. Well mostly TML and his lack of papers, but that isn’t anything a coyote can’t take care of. I miss Oregon, and after so many years here in Mexico I am fed up with the life style. I am just over it! I just have too many kids now.

If I do go north I will be headed first to Smith River CA. Then to Portland Oregon FOREVER! The other day I heard some chisme about Portland and I hope someone can tell me if it is true or not. If you drive an electric car you get free parking downtown, and while you are taking advantage of the free parking you can some how refuel your car. I just want to know is this true or false?

Magic

2006-12-24T17:58:00.000-06:00

So for the past couple of weeks Tarzan and I have watched The Harry Potter movies approximately 1 million times. So as a result of that Tarzan is now magical and it is very amusing. He looks almost possessed when he is being magical. Tarzan started showing everybody his forehead and saying ouch, so I decided to amuse him and took a sharpie and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead, and now I am drawing a lightning bolt on his forehead daily.

Well in one of the Harry movies there is a scene were Harry is a baby, so Tarzan also thinks that his brother is also Harry Potter and magical. So I was in the kitchen, Beny was on the bed and Tarzan was coloring. Then is got really quiet so I went to check on the chumacos and I found Tarzan with a red marker, making Beny magical. He drew what I think were suppose to be lightning bolts on the baby’s forehead and well in all honestly all over his head.

So on the other hand I put on way to much weight when I was pregnant. I weighed 189 my last dr. appointment, but that is still 25 lbs less then when I was pregnant with Tarzan. So today I went and weighed myself and I am down to 158. So I have more then 30 lbs to go before I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. So today I went to get an outfit to wear for Christmas and the whole process made me cry, by the 3rd store that I went to I just would ask if they had any ropa grande and some of the women would just look at me puzzled. I am holding all of the weight in my mid-section so that is extra shitty, but I guess it is better then my ankles. I think being more then 30 lbs overweight in my ankles would make me cry every time I looked down.

Death

2006-12-22T05:24:00.000-06:00

I think about death allot. I don’t want to die, I think that might possibly be the thing I fear the most. I have always thought about death. For whatever reason I have been around allot of death, allot of people dieing and for all kinds of reason illness, accidents, really anyway anyone could die. Death of people of all ages.

I one point in my life I decided that I wasn’t going to go to any more funerals except for immediate family. That plan lasted almost a year. I find that you go to funerals for closure, or to be support for someone close to you. I remember the first dead body that I looked at, I think I might have been in the 5th grade and my family and I where at my grandfathers funeral and I was with my little sister. It was an open casket and she wanted to look at him, so I took her to look at him. I also remember everyone talking about the way he looked, and what color he was after the funeral, and that my grandmother didn’t cry. It seemed so odd. I have only looked at one other dead body, and it was because I opted for it. I was 19 and she was a newborn. I thought it couldn’t get any worse then that. I also thought she was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. I still think that.

I think about death I think almost daily since I had Tarzan, I should say that I worry about death the most. When I first had him and up and until I had Beny it would concern me allot what would happen to Tarzan if say I were to die. What would happen to my Tarzan if I were to die? This would stress me out, I know that I could have made some kind of executive decision and make a will, but then I would be faced with making decision of who would be best suited for my little guy. How do you pick something like that? I know now that both of the boys would stay together and be with TML. God forbid that something happens to the both of us. Tomorrow this topic will be discussed with TML. UGH!

Topes

2006-12-21T23:37:00.000-06:00

So all over Mexico when you enter a town and you leave a town there are speed bumps. Personally I think this is such a good idea verses a blinking red light that is completely ignored in most cases.

Well Here in Zihua they have gone a little tope (speed bump) crazy. One large tope will normally slow you down, well I don’t know who made this decision but there are now I think 5 million small metal topes when you are entering Zihua. They go on for a 3rd of a mile. Also just for the hell of it they have put topes in the most unnecessary places in the whole town. There is know warning that they are coming and then they are just there for know good reason at all.

Mi Diablito!

2006-12-21T22:07:00.000-06:00

Name

2006-12-18T18:36:00.000-06:00

I think I need a new title for my blog, now that I have more then Tarzan. Stella?

Christmas

2006-12-16T15:46:00.001-06:00

Every year when Christmas roles around I want to go home. I want to be with my family, but not the way my family is now, but the way my family use to be. You know with a mom and dad, and without unnecessary tension between the siblings. My siblings and I grew up in what appeared to be pretty fortunate situation, everyone got along pretty well. Lots of love, I wish it were still that way. I haven’t seen my older sister in more then 3 years, and she has never met either of my sons. My brother Casey, well we don’t talk to each other… Let me rephrase that he doesn’t talk to me, his wife I think is the biggest influence in that decision. His wife told my mom (when she was pregnant with my nephew, and I was pregnant with Tarzan) that I wasn’t aloud to be around her son. They have two kids now, and I still haven’t met them, but I would like to. The few times that I have been around Casey since I have had Tarzan he has been very cold to him. My dad he left, he quit. I don’t know how he justifies the choices that he makes; I haven’t talked to him since Tarzan was a few months old. The last time I saw him he pretend he didn’t see me, which still hurts really bad; he never even called or said anything when I had Beny. I asked my sister if he new I had the baby and she said he knows. I know that he new I was pregnant because I wrote him a letter and told him. I can’t continue to put out an effort to be friends with him, because he refuses to respond, and I can’t keep letting his choices hurt me.

Now I have two fucking beautiful wonderful kids, and I would love for all of my family to know them and to love them and my dad and my brother can’t get over there lame bullshit.

Right after I had Beny things were pretty horrible around the homestead. A lot of things happened that I won’t be sharing on my blog, It all caused me to get pretty sad, and when I think about it to much it makes me sad all over again. It has all made me want to leave Zihua; I want to be back in Oregon.

Beny is Mexican and in time he will also have a US birth certificate, I have gone and filled out all the papers and paid for it so now I am just waiting, and then I will be waiting for his US Passport. I am sure everyone is aware that the US has some pretty big immigration issues, I guess if I had to leave Mexico today that I could hire coyote to get the baby across the border. Could you fucking imagine, I am a US citizen, and I would have to try to smuggle my newborn child across the border like he was a 15 lbs bag of coke.

Tarzan was born in the states so he already has his US birth certificate, and US passport and TML is in the process of getting him is Mexican papers.

Once we have Beny's US papers we will start filing for TML papers for the states.

So this is all being done on Mexican time so hopefully sometime in the next year everybody will have so many papers I could build one hell of a fire. When everybody has all of the necessary papers I am hoping that we are headed north to start from scratch.

That has gotten completely off the topic Christmas, so I am fed up with Christmas in Zihua because I want to do the whole family ordeal with my kids and yada yada. Here Christmas is more or less the same ole shit you have dinner with your family and then it is off to party tell you can’t party anymore. Speaking of parties, it is the middle of the night and my neighbor sounds like he is having a rave in his apartment.

So this weekend we will be getting our plastic Christmas tree and getting ready to celebrate Christmas in Mexico with Tamales and a Piñata.

My Face

2006-12-12T13:10:00.000-06:00

So this summer I bought some Lancome makeup and you know how sometimes you get free gifts. So I got a whole goody bag full of shit, and the best stuff in the bag was PRIMODIALE OPTIMUM, visibly correcting moisturizer. Everybody should try it. About a week into using it I felt so pretty, so fresh, and my sunspots didn’t look so aged.

Cesarean

2006-12-12T12:48:00.000-06:00

That is the way the baby came out. I can’t say that I am not disappointed with everyone involved. I still am not sure why they cesarean was preformed, but maybe it was the best. Who knows, really it isn’t my business. The baby weighed in at 3.5 kilos, and 47 centimeters long, good-sized baby. I look forward to meeting him.

Birth

2006-12-09T11:47:00.000-06:00

I understand things can go wrong when you are in labor, that unplanned things can occur. What I don’t understand is why women here or anywhere would opt to have an unnecessary operation. Why they don’t have more faith in the capabilities of there body.

FRUSTRATION

2006-12-06T17:38:00.000-06:00

I probably shouldn’t care, none of it is any of my business, but it bothers me. My sister-in-law is do to have a baby any day and her doctor told her that if she doesn’t have the baby by Friday she is going to have to have a cesarean. She isn’t suffering from any real reason to have a cesarean, besides being really pregnant. She isn’t going to be induced, they are going to cut her the fuck open and yard out her baby. I say find a new fucking doctor.

My brother-in-law had back surgery less then a year ago, but before he decided to have the surgery he talked to multiple doctors all over México, he took allot of time, and spend allot of money traveling to different parts of the country finding the right doctor for the operation that he needed.

So why when a women is pregnant, and there jackass of a doctor says they need to have a cesarean these women don’t take the time to go and ask another doctor if that is a reasonable option. If that is what you really need.

My personal opinion is that allot of women don’t take the time to do any self-education. When I had Tarzan in the states I read a couple of books, I kept my self well informed, but when I had Beny in México I read everything I could get a hold of. I had to be the biggest promoter of what I wanted and what I thought was the best for me and my unborn child and I wasn’t going to settle for my doctor getting impatient and giving me some lame ass excuse for giving me a cesarean. I looked up all of the hard reasons for having a cesarean and there is only 7 and 3 of them you know about before you go into labor. There are more soft reasons to have a cesarean, but they are soft reasons.

Then there is a level of sympathy on my part, for example whomever has been adamant about having a vaginal childbirth and they are in labor and they go to the hospital and the doctor is tired of waiting or whatever and gives this woman any reasonable excuse to have a cesarean, what the fuck are they suppose to do, they are already in labor?

There are approximately only 6% percent of deliveries that a cesarean is a life or death situation for the mother or child.

When I had Beny I new that I needed to do most of my laboring at home, that there wasn’t any reason to go to the hospital before it was really necessary.

I could go on for hours… I hope this makes sense.

He Is So Cute, I Can't Handle It!!!

2006-12-01T16:50:00.000-06:00

Cheap Tourist

2006-11-30T17:20:00.000-06:00

I am ranting… I live in a tourist zone, I am overall happy living in a tourist zone I constantly am meeting people from all over the world. Do you know what I don’t like is fucking cheap tourist. I am speaking just for myself, but I fucking hate them. People go on vacation in tourist zones in Mexico and they think that since they have come to Mexico they are going to pay 50 cents for a fucking beer or anything that has tequila in it is going to be like a dollar. If those are the prices you are looking for then you need to vacation in a none tourist zone. You need to get off of the beach and away from anyone that speaks any kind of English. This community thrives on the tourist industry, but the people here are very accommodating to you lack of Spanish that Americans and Canadians speak. If you venture to Ixtapa everyone speaks English, and not just a little. Here in Zihua everyone speaks English, the fisherman, the ladies in the market, everyone speaks English.

My husband has a very small bar right in the middle of downtown, he speaks very good English and so does his daytime bartender. His beer and alcohol prices are very cheap, you pay less then 2 dollars for a beer, and any were from 3 to 5 dollars for a mixed drink, and this is with a very liberal amount of alcohol. You can buy a liter of draft beer for less then 3 dollars. You can drink it there or you can take it to go.

So for example yesterday there was a cruise ship here, and there was a million of people in town and a woman and her family stopped at the bar and asked how much is a margarita and the daytime bartender told her that it is 45 pesos and she left. I don’t know what she thought he was going to say but that is a very reasonable price to pay for a fucking margarita, maybe she doesn’t get the exchange rate, but that is less the $4.50 US. I know how much things cost when you go to the bar in the states, and people pay those prices like they are going out of style and never complain about it. So why do people wait until they are vacation to be cheap? You’re on vacation you should want to have a good time and not worry about the nickel and dime prices of things.

I know for myself that if I am on vacation I don’t want to worry about that kind of shit, I want to eat, drink, and do nothing. I am not going to wonder around town looking for the cheapest place to sit my fat ass down and have a drink; I am going to look for the people and stay were the party is at. And if you can’t afford to pay for an already cheaper then normal price then maybe you shouldn’t be drinking. Maybe you shouldn’t be on vacation.

Mistake

2006-11-25T16:53:00.000-06:00

It wasn't cockroach shit, it was cockroach eggs................ Fucking disgusting, I have killed over 20 cockroaches in the last two days. This is so fucking gross!

Bad Way To Start Your Day

2006-11-24T11:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I wanted to make Tarzan and I oatmeal. This should me an easy task since I have just recently purchased some Quaker oats, brand fucking new box of oatmeal. So I have the water boiling and I go to get the oatmeal, still has the safety seal on it, so I bust threw that and I open up the box. Inside the box of oatmeal appears to be little dried raisons, so I look at the label of the box did I accidentally get oatmeal with raisons in it. NO, it is full of fucking cockroach shit. I examined the box to figure out how this has happened; well to my surprise there was a small whole in the lid. So a whole box of oatmeal in the garbage.

Thanksgiving

2006-11-23T17:24:00.000-06:00

We didn't get invited to dinner. I know that some where here in Zihua is Thanksgiving Dinner, and me and all my kids are eating the same mexican food that we eat everyday. I am so sad.

SAD

2006-11-22T17:33:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and we haven't recieved one invitation for thanksgiving dinner.

2006-11-19T16:42:00.000-06:00

This week we went to a baptismal and it was nice. Then it started raining and everything moved inside, and it was still really nice. Then there is Tarzan who I love more then anything in the world, but now when we go places as a family I take care of the baby, and TML takes care of Tarzan. When la Banda is together there is a group of kids and there are all girls beside the Tarzan and his partner in crime. There are two more boys my Paolo Benicio, and Paolo Alejandro but they are still brand new so they aren’t up to no good yet. So Tarzan and his partner in crime are always on the escape. I guess they want to be free, who knows what they are thinking. So at the baptismal they went outside, and when it was time to go home these two kids were down to their underwear.

Damn Dude

2006-11-17T17:39:00.000-06:00

2006-11-13T17:43:00.000-06:00

The first photo is Monica and Beny, the second photo is me.

Sheep

2006-11-13T17:40:00.000-06:00

Is the word sheep singular or plural? If it is singular how do you say sheep plural?

My Mummy

2006-11-03T18:47:00.000-06:00

Halloween

2006-11-03T15:16:00.000-06:00

Here in Zihua Halloween is weird! This is a North American holiday. Nov. 1st is Day of The Dead, but since I live in a tourist zone Halloween is still celebrated, and it is just wierd. That is the only way I know how to describe it. I will post photos of Tarzan soon. He was great, and I think the tourist who take photos of kids here should drop them a peso or two.

I am going to complain about Ricks Bar. Ricks Bar is more commonly known as gringolandia, because mexicans dont go there and Rick and his clients make it clear that they arent welcome there. For example on Halloween there are a million kids dressed up. The kids go to restaurents and stores, and whatever is open downtown. Ricks Bar being a location for North Americans this place is jammed packed with people in costumes. So as I was taking my little guy around to collect his fare share of spicy candy we stopped at Ricks where we were greated by a lady who handed my son a piece of candy and was told he couldnt go in, he was told he couldnt go in not because it is a bar, but because he is mexican. In her very poor spanish she was trying to explain to my 3 yr. old that the candy stopped there. I proceded to take him through the bar were he collected candy from everyone there. I could go on for hours about how disgusting this is.

I love being a MOM

2006-10-25T15:17:00.000-05:00

Photos of my boys, and Tarzan could possibly be the silliest boy alive.

Sweat

2006-10-21T13:12:00.000-05:00

Sweat that is what I do. I don’t like it. I thought after I had the baby the sweat would stop, well maybe not the day I had the baby but soon after. I have come to the realization the sweat isn’t going to stop until after I lose all of the weight I gained during the pregnancy. I am still around 20 kilos from that goal. So who knows how long that is going to take? If I don’t stop sweating after I lose the weight I am moving back to Oregon were it has a much cooler climate. I would rather be cool and smell good, then hot and sweaty and smelling like pork. That’s right I smell like pork, cooked pork. I smell like funky pork tacos all of the time.

Someone Said It

2006-10-20T12:39:00.000-05:00

The latest edition is very pale, very, very pale. The hair that he does have isn't that dark, his eyebrows are white, the hair on his body is white. His eyes are blue, but he has TML face. So yesterday we were out and about and someone stopped to see the baby and to my suprise she told me that she thought the baby was going to be browner. I am sure there are plenty of people thinking the same thing, but she said it. The only other comment that can top that one is when TML mom told me to put some suntan oil on the baby and put him in the sun.

Breastfeeding

2006-10-13T14:58:00.000-05:00

Breastfeeding is great for your boobs! Your boobs are all big and full and you get to eat more because breastfeeding burns allot of calories. It is when you are done breastfeeding that all the bad things happen, and you have to look into buying new boobs. I breastfeed Tarzan for 16 months and when I decided that it was time to but an end to that business (I quite cold turkey style and I won't be doing that again.) My boobs filled up with milk for about three days and they were so big and rock hard it was ridiculous. They were defiantly porn star boobs. Then the milk went away and so did the rock hardness and they just turned into empty looking sacks. You know like the old woman’s boobs in the movie Something About Mary.

Stella & Corina

2006-10-10T17:35:00.000-05:00

This is an old photo, but Stella just send it to me so I thought I would share. It is from a couple of years ago, and I am sure we are drunk. Well I am drunk. OOoops!